EP. 135: Chasing People with Amy Weatherly + Jess Johnston

You’ve just received the BEST news of your life!  Who do you call?
You’re walking through the hardest season! Who do you lean on?
You just need to run a quick errand. Who do you bring along?
We ALL crave true intimacy and connection with others. We are divinely created to do life with others – not alone.
BUT, so often, rather than coming up with an instant answer to the questions above, the following rings true in our head…
I’m the only one who’s lonely. I’m the only one without friends. Clearly, it’s just me.
Let me reassure you…it is NOT just you! In fact today’s guests (yes, plural!)  shed some major light on the situation when they drop the following truth bomb:
It takes 200 hours to grow a deep friendship!

It takes 200 hours to grow a deep friendship!

200 HOURS! That’s no small feat! And that is a LOT of investment. 
So, no. It is not just you!
The good news is, while that is a TON of time, that doesn’t mean that all of those hours are deep conversation. But rather, it’s simply doing life together. Running errands together. Watching your kids together. Whatever it is, it’s all an investment causing you to grow deep roots so that you can withstand the good, the bad, and the ugly. 
So, if we know the amount of time it takes for us to invest to form the friendships that we desire, then what is getting in our way?
Honestly, our own selves. 

To put in the work and grow those strong roots, means we have to get beyond the surface and share the vulnerable parts of our lives. Sometimes even the muddy parts. 

But, as I write about in “Slow Growth Equals Strong Roots” (coming out SO soon friends! You you can pre-order below.), rather than share our real selves we decide to become contortionists. Twisting ourselves into these tiny tethered knots, because to contort and confirm is easier than to open our true selves up to potential criticism or… rejection. 
Yup. I am calling it out for what it is so that we can do two things together:
  1. Address it
  2. Overcome it
And, if you are ready to do the same, then you are going to be in for a real treat with today’s guests!
Today, Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston (founders of “Sister, I Am with You) join me to talk all about friendship, connection, and showing up. 
They say:
“It’s fear of rejection. Fear of being left out. Fear of being unliked. Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of offending someone. Fear of being gossiped about. Fear that I’ll be accepted at first and then pushed to the side later. Basically fear that I’m not good enough…If you can, somehow miraculously manage to mold, melt and twist yourself to fit others expectations, to be everything to everyone at all times – whoosh, it makes you lose a little piece of yourself.”
Can we just take a minute for a good old fashioned slow clap here. I mean if that doesn’t speak straight to your heart, I don’t know what does! 
So, what do we do about it? How can we finally get out of our own way and start forming the connections we long for? The relationships that we are made for!
Jess and Amy share 3 clear and practical steps with us today! 
The first is “Know Yourself”. It’s all about knowing that you are loved. That you are accepted just as you are. In turn, you will stop obsessing over your own flaws which frees you up to go out into the world and love people! When you love on people and find the gold in others, people are naturally drawn toward you. But, you have to know yourself first and foremost, to have the confidence to do so. 
So. Good. 
Friends, that is just the tip of the iceberg! 
Make sure you tune in today to hear the other two steps and also join us as we tackle all things friendship and finding your people to do life with! Specifically: 
  • How to dismantle the lies you’ve believed about friendship
  • Why it’s important to invest in the right friendships 
  • Ways to make friendship the priority it should be in your life
  • The importance of loving yourself so that you can find people who will love you for you
If you are ready to find your people and feel completely accepted as you are – from the top of your messy bun to the tips of your unpedicured toes – then today’s episode is a must listen! 
Make sure to listen in until the very end to not miss out on a special treat from Amy and Jess.
Here’s to making sure that friendship is a priority in your life, and worrying more about making other people be seen and feel loved than you are about what they think about you!
Until next time friends!

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