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EP. 116: How to Make Friends as an Adult With Jeanette Tapley

 

Do you remember making friendship bracelets? You know, the multi-colored string bracelets that you would pass out to all of your friends. 
 
Or how about the silver and gold BFF heart necklaces?! The ones where you would take half of the heart and give your best friend the other half!
 
Looking back now, it seems like a cute but an incredibly silly and childish thing to do, doesn’t it?
 
BUT – on the other hand, I can’t stop thinking about how EASY it was to make friends as a kid. 
 
In fact, I even remember making a “best friend” waiting in line at Dollywood one summer! We effortlessly chatted the entire wait time in line without fear of what the other person was thinking, trepidation of saying the wrong thing, or the anxiety of fitting-in. 
 
Interestingly enough, what’s also ingrained in my mind is the memory of the two of us turning to our moms and saying that THEY should be best friends too!
 
Our moms thought we were cute. Laughed it off. And, continued waiting in line. 
 
I keep coming back to that contrast though. 
 
While I didn’t realize it at the time, I clearly see it now….the stark difference between my childlike experience and my mom’s adult experience is actually very telling. 
 

Something happens as we get older that makes finding, cultivating, and keeping friendships much more challenging than it once was. 

It’s probably a combination of things — being shaped by life’s experiences, building walls as a defense mechanism if we’ve been hurt, running a million miles an hour in different directions, finding ourselves in different seasons of life…
 
The longer the list becomes, the lonelier we feel and the more challenging we believe that friendships actually are. 
 
BUT! Today’s guest nailed it when she said:
 
We have to stop believing that friendships are hard. Friendships are worth the work we put into them.
 
SO good! 
 
Take a minute to let that sink in! And! Get a pen ready because you are going to want to take notes from today’s episode! 
how to make friends as an adult
how to make friends as an adult
how to make friends as an adult
how to make friends as an adult
how to make friends as an adult
In fact, I am so incredibly excited about today’s conversation for a couple reasons:
 
  • We are talking about adult friendships. I think that this is something that SO many of us struggle with!
  • Today’s guest, Jeanette Tipley, is the host of the “Let’s Get Coffee” podcast, AND a very dear friend of mine who has become an expert in this exact topic! 
You are going to LOVE her and our conversation! I really feel like it couldn’t be more practical or timely!
 
Here’s the thing, Jeanette explains that friendship does not have to be hard; BUT, it does have to be intentional.
 

It is SO easy to get caught up in busy schedules and other excuses only to wake up and find we have slowly but surely drifted apart from the very people we care the most about! 

Jeanette even shares a story today about how 3 years (yes, 3!) went by before reconnecting with one of her best friends!
 
It happens. I’ve been there. I get it!
 
But! There are some tangible tips we can put into place to avoid this slippery slope!
 
Set a reminder to check-in – So easy! Just put reminders in your phone to check-in with certain people! Even just a quick text or phone once a week can help you to stay connected!
 
Schedule your next meet-up before leaving your current one– LOVE this one! Don’t leave coffee or dinner with the “let’s do this more often” line. Instead! Take out your calendars and decide on the next time and place right then and there!
 
Be the friend to others that you want to have – This one is huge! Think about what kind of friend you want. Write down a list of qualities if that helps! And, then make sure to show up that way to those around you!
 
Oh friends! There are just a FEW of the ideas and wisdom Jeanette shares with us today! 
 
Make sure you to tune into the full episode where we also:
 
  • Explore the idea of what it means to have a true place of belonging with people who know you and are for
  • Dive into ways to balance the “friendship breakup” with our call to love others
  • Discuss how to be an intentional friend to others while finding, making, and keeping friends over the long haul as an adult
  • Flip the script on the idea that friendships are hard while walking away with tangible tips for how to be intentional with scheduling, checking-in, and calendars
I hope that you are ready to join me in dropping the walls and flipping the script as we navigate the intentional act of developing life-giving friendships together! 
 
Now go! Put yourself out there! And start reaping the benefits of your efforts! 
 
I can’t wait to hear your favorite take away from the episode!

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@marymarantz

IT ALWAYS STARTED WITH DIRT

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