When did you first become aware of how others perceived you?
Was it a mistake in a school presentation that drew unwanted attention, the rejection from the role that was on the top of your list? Or maybe, like me, it was a critical response to a tender dream you shared in its infancy.
Even today, years down the road, it amazes me the acute awareness we can readily access those memories.
“Though fleeting and forgettable for those who were around us, those moments leave their mark and over time become the evidence we use to justify our fears.”
And even though we may experience the love, belonging, and acceptance we long for, those perceptions lie dormant waiting to remind us why it will always be better to stay comfortable than come alive.
- What do I know about leading?
- Who I am to chase this dream?
- I have no idea how to build a business….
Our default mode is to prepare and protect ourselves from the fallout on the other side of the risk, but instead, we ultimately hold ourselves hostage from our future by defining ourselves in the past.
When today’s guest deviated from the path set before her no one could have prepared her for the unashamed opinions that would be thrown her way. For most of her life, the perception of others had played a part in her daily experience but this was growing to a new scale. She had become familiar with the fear but what she would have to befriend was what was rooted beneath it.
She is a trailblazer, tenacious entrepreneur, and gutsy leader and that is why I am thrilled to have my dear friend Natalie Franke back for a THIRD time on The Mary Marantz Show.
Natalie Franke is a writer, entrepreneur, community builder, neuroscience nerd, podcaster, and mama bear for small businesses. She is also the Chief Evangelist at HoneyBook where she champions a community of over 100,000 independent business owners. From navigating a benign brain tumor diagnosis to undergoing neurosurgery, to battling infertility for years–Natalie has faced her fears time and time again. Her lived experiences have shaped her understanding of courage and inspired her to write her new book, Gutsy: Learning to Live with Bold, Brave, and Boundless Courage, from a place of true vulnerability. Gutsy is a roadmap to life brimming with curiosity, confidence, and fulfillment that ultimately offers the hope that embracing how you feel about yourself matters more than how others feel about you.
Mary’s new book, slow growth equals strong Roots is HERE! Click HERE to Order your copy today!
Out of a dream she had for herself and her community, Natalie found herself leading a rapidly expanding community of independent business owners. The more her impact rippled out into the world the more eyes were not only on her work but her life and she began to notice that the perceptions of others were clouding her own sense of direction.
Whether or not she was taking action or staying silent there was always some angle within herself or with the proverbial world around her that wouldn’t be satisfied.
Spinning her wheels and spending increasingly more time and energy fixated on the opinion of the others in her life she knew she had to take a step back.
“People tend to believe they make up their own mind but when you look at the neuroscience of it, we tend to make up an opinion based on a summation of the opinions that surround us…
“We don’t often go through the world looking for the truth. We go through the world looking for evidence that what we already believe to be true is the truth.”
Whatever you look for you will find and if she looked hard enough, she would always be able to access perceptions and opinions that could validate her fear. So the only place she could ever find the answers to the questions she so deeply longed for would have to be within herself.
“You have to be able to differentiate the risks that are truly there for where people’s opinions matter and when they don’t. What is hardwired in, is hardwired in. It’s a feature, not a bug. It’s not an accident that you think this way, it’s not something that is broken about you or wrong with you in any way, it is there to keep you safe and protect you from things that can harm you. Once you embrace and accept that, then we get to do the work of evaluating what will help you move forward and be courageous.”
The honest truth was, she would likely never stop caring what other people thought but she was finally finished with it limiting her from the life she longed for.
If you feel stuck in your comfort zone or stagnant in indecision, this episode is a must-listen! In today’s episode, Natalie pulls back the curtain on the inner work that helped her lean into a gutsy life and the necessity of just doing the thing scared.
Tune into today’s episode to hear:
- What your jealousy can teach you
- Why you need to audit your inner circle
- The two definitions you have to write yourself
The third time is the charm for Natalie and she continues to leave me wanting more. I have no doubt that her dedication to the hard work of self-reflection and evaluation will be a catalyst for you today.
Consider today’s episode the push you have been waiting for to step beyond the limitations of your past into the gutsy life only you can live.
“Go ahead, make yourself proud.”
I can’t wait for you to take a listen! And if you are looking to give up comparing, performing, and achieving for your worth, I think you’ll LOVE my new book Slow Growth Equals Strong Roots! Available now everywhere books are sold! And while you’re at it, take our Achiever Quiz to see which of the 5 Achiever Types you are….
More From This Episode:
Connect with Natalie on Instagram and be sure to pick up her new book, “Gutsy: Learning to Live with Bold, Brave, and Boundless Courage“ wherever books are sold.
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