First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in a baby carriage…
The real message behind this? Save sex for marriage.
If you are like me, maybe you grew up being told that the Bible says you can’t have sex until your are married – but there wasn’t really any more said around the topic. Things like: the heart behind saving sex for marriage, the difficulties that can come with that, and what’s the line between ‘okay’ and ‘SO not okay.’
I mean, if we think about it, have we really ever done a deep dive into the Scriptures to read and understand for ourselves? Especially if you are in a season of singleness before marriage!
I know it can definitely be a taboo topic – an uncomfortable one even, but I believe there is much too much importance on this topic to not be discussed in a safe space!
And if anyone is willing to talk about this candidly, it’s Kat Harris.
Today, I had the privilege of chatting for a second time with the blogger + author – and she has asked all of these questions and more on her personal journey of writing her latest book, Sexless in the City!
Growing up at the height of the purity movement, Kat knew this much: “good” Christians don’t have sex until marriage.
But approaching 30 and thrust into the New York City dating scene, she found a set of rules was not a compelling enough reason to keep her clothes on! (Hello!)
She found herself caught between purity culture’s rules and popular culture’s do what feels good. (Can you relate?!)
And so, she did something about it!
Enter a multi-year journey of Kat searching for answers to the biggest questions about sexuality and faith:
- What does the Bible really say about sex?
- Why does almost everyone deal with some sort of sexual shame? But really–what’s a single girl to do with her sexual desire?
- What if we never get married . . . then what?
It turns out Kat was asking questions that countless of us were dying to ask but didn’t know we had the permission to do so!
Let’s face it: being single in today’s culture as a woman of faith can be a STRUGGLE FEST. But it doesn’t have to be!
Why?
Let’s think about intimacy for a second!
Kat tells that when we want to experience intimacy we should do a couple of things:
- Pause and get curious about what it is that you are really wanting right now (is it sex that you are really wanting or human connection?)
- Acknowledge the desire and normalize it
- Walk out in integrity, staying in connection with who you are, and who you want to become
You see, desire and pleasure is a part of God’s plan -it’s a part of this life being enjoyable.
So how can you connect with desire and intimacy outside of the bedroom?
- Come together in a creative way to make something new (think artists writing a new song together)
- Dive into substantial dialogue with someone and really get to know them on a deeper level
- Practice sensuality- being connected to your senses while practicing the art of being present
- Kat believes that God desires to restore a generation disillusioned with purity culture and Christian dating. Discouraged about their singleness… ashamed of their sexual desire… and, uncertain how to practically walk this season out well.
If this is you, you are going to love our conversation where we also chat about:
- What the Bible actually says about sex
- Kat’s vulnernable story of her breaking point and her personal journey and expereriences with sex and dating
- A renewed biblical vision for sex, singleness, and relationships
- What it means to be a woman of faith equipped to navigate today’s dating culture with vision, clarity, and freedom
If you are ready to join Kat on her messy, sometimes painful, and always honest journey to discovering God’s heart for sexuality, desire, singleness, and your purpose within it all, then you will NOT want to miss today’s episode!
Prefer to watch the episode instead? Click below to watch it on Youtube with some exclusive BONUS content!
More From This Episode:
Connect with Kat on Instagram and be sure to pick up her new book, ‘Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes painful, Always Honest At Dating, Desire, and Sex’ books are sold.’
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